Comedy Roundtable

Russell Hicks

September 07, 2021 Russell Hicks Season 3 Episode 29
Comedy Roundtable
Russell Hicks
Comedy Roundtable +
Become a supporter of the show!
Starting at $3/month
Support
Show Notes Transcript

NOTE: At the time this episode was recorded, Comedy Roundtable was known as the BHHcast (pronounced "Bah"-cast), which is why you will hear references to the BHHcast, our listeners who we referred to as the Sheep, and our hosts who were referred to as the Shepherds. Enjoy a little bit of Comedy Roundtable history with this episode.

Comedy Roundtable is visited by another guest from across the pond, welcoming Russell Hicks to the show. Russell is an American comic based in the UK, known for his crowd work and improvisational comedy.   If you are unfamiliar with how to clear your orchard of lemon stealing whores or the potato equivalent of a wine sommelier  - this is the episode for you. 

Find out all about Russell at https://russellhicks.co.uk/.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/hickscomedy
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@russellhickscomedy
Twitter: https://twitter.com/russellhickss

Support the show

Interested in supporting the show? Subscribe to the show and help us continue to provide great comedy content live from the Punchline Comedy Club. Subscription Page: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1618732/support.

If you want to interact with the hosts of Comedy Roundtable, email us at listener@comedyroundtable.com. For advertising opportunities, email ads@comedyroundtable.com. Complaints should be directed to the nearest trash can (or complaints@comedyroundtable.com if you insist). Comedians who want to be on the show, email us at comics@comedyroundtable.com.

(c) Comedy Roundtable.


Unknown:

People around here trust the shepherd, Jamie, Adam and the other Jamie. They always hail the sheep trust them to get around. I'll throw another log on the fire. Turn it up just to touch on another episode. podcast is starting now brand new episode of the podcast starts now. Jamie Bendel Jamie. Hernan, Adam. Hey, our very special guests this evening joining us from across the pond comedian Russell Hicks. Hello, thank you for having me, buddy. Hello, Atlanta. Hello Atlanta and the world. That's right. As we have sheep all over the world, people are finding time in the midst of chaos in Afghanistan. They're running around, and they're listening to this podcast. That's right, you're gonna have some time to kill if you're at the back of the crowd. We have new episodes that come out on Tuesday mornings, and I did see there was a lowland violence in Afghanistan yesterday at about 5am There was there like there's an empty plane over there and they're like, Hold on, let me finish the podcast. And then we'll go. So Russell, you are known for crowd work and dealing with hecklers. Have you ever had a friend or somebody who came to your show who got drunk who then became the target of your crowd work or they were a Heckler and you had to shut them down? Yeah, my mother is my mother. My mother is like, she is a heckler. She if I bring her to a show she'll heckle me I met she since learned, like, I've worked with her on it. The first couple times I brought her she had called other people leading up to me, and then heckled me, your colleagues Brussel. Please, can you stop bringing your mother to the show? She's destroying my confidence. Pretty much or someone would really destroy her before I went on. And then I would have to go on and just be like, Wow, I mean, I just that was my mother. You know, just really, I'm just trying to help your show. Honey, I'm just trying to show you You're such a beautiful young man. Yeah. And that is pretty much verbatim. Some of the stuff that she's yelled at various points in my performance. I'm not lying. Like, it's true. It's true. He did do that as a young man. And like, the crowd sometimes finds it charming. And most of the time, they're like, look, we don't care. I'm like, that is actually my mother. And then it just becomes you know, this this just strange sort of nepotistic thing that's happening in the room and right, and I'll do the only thing I can do. I will I will. I'll obliterate her. Destroy her life and be data. Yeah, yeah. All right. So you're familiar with the format of the show, perhaps we ask lightning round questions designed to provoke a real and genuine response. We do a practice one. First question to acclimate all guests to the format is clockwise or counterclockwise? Oh, counterclockwise. All right, counterclockwise, starting with Jamie. All right. Is it just a matter of time before we have to pay a licensing fee to Disney to own a pet for sure. Disney owns literally everything. And it's terrifying. I don't know if you've seen Disney plus, but I was scrolling through the other day and they had my fifth birthday. They had it. I don't know where they got the rights to it. But they had it and I was able to view it. It's pretty silly. I have I did enjoy your fifth birthday party. It was pretty great. My daughter makes me watch it every time she does a cliffhanger. Yeah. Yeah, love it. It's a classic. Yeah, we we didn't work the kinks out one through four. But I think we really hit it with birthday. Season Five of of your life was a Russell's birthday. Yeah. And then it's it's just downhill. We went to big. year six. We went to big. You know what I mean? Someone tried to dress up like Batman. It was a disaster. There was a fire. Yeah, that one. We couldn't put that on Disney. I thought the greased up bounce house was a lot that year. Yeah. Yeah. It was dangerous, badly badly chosen, but I get it laid to the trauma but still, I don't know what we were thinking man. But we said look, we gotta go. You know, we're known for throwing a Basheer so I said throw a little grease in there and Let's light this baby up. Yeah, and then the fire and all the kids running around on fire. It was the later birthdays had to be on Showtime. While some of the kids were still running into the bounce house, which was horrible. Jamie Alright, my turn. Have you ever compiled a playlist for a person? Yes, I have admitted a mixtape Oh, an actual mixtape? Yeah, yeah, I was talking to someone about this the other day. I was like, I used to have listen to vinyl records. Okay, you know, cuz I was a hipster man. 2006 Very cool. And that was like I remember one of my friends said Listen, man, this is this is a move beyond all moves. You make a girl a mixtape. Alright, she won't know what hit her. She's gonna be like, what? Yeah, reel to reel. Yep. And so yeah, man. I've done it. And this was a romantic interest. Yes. Okay, when you gave her the mixtape Did you also have to give her cassette player? Yes. Yes. As a matter of fact I did. Yeah, it was. It was expensive. Yeah, it got worse. And she had to open that first. Yes. Oh my God, what did you get your cassette player for? Because of this? That's right. I sand back that one for a little while. All right, when making the ultimate romantic playlist, who is the artist? You build that mixtape around? Gosh, I don't know. I'd probably sneak an original in there. You know, knowing me in 2006 Really? That's yeah, tsunami jokin. That doesn't get the girl right. I mean, not only is he making our mixtape he's has an original song in it. I never even know that. I'll be like, What do you think attract five? Hmm. really familiar with it? It's a little sappy. No, it's kind of like, I thought it was weird when he said my full name and street my actual name and address. And then the ending was just him saying please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Flip beside me. Please, please, please. I mean, yes, it is just more originals. Alright, Adam, if you could gain control of JK Rollins Twitter account for one day, what unnecessary piece of information would you add to the Harry Potter lore? What unnecessary piece of information would I add? Yeah. To the Harry Potter. What do you do to the Harry Potter world with that with that power? I would say he uses a magical form of conditioner so that it doesn't irritate his scar. Oh, wow. You know, I was wondering about that and then monitor because you guys, listen, if I've learned one thing from my partnership with Disney, okay. It's that you got to be forward thinking. Alright. Imagine the branding. Okay, you know, they've already got those shops where they sell like the little beans and whatnot. Yeah, yep. Oh, we bottle up that shampoo. Oh, my God that wears their whistles or whatever. Whatever they call it. Harry Potter's magic shampoo. Really? That's just a working type really just suave or whatever. But yeah, we rebrand that thing as Hey, guys, we dumped some old Pert Plus, yep, you have a new package. And I'm telling you, it's a goldmine. So I think that's the kind of thing that could that could really get through. Now we placed that in the amusement parks where they do the Harry Potter stuff, or is it just mail order? How are we going to do that? Yeah, we will. So we you know, you're dealing with a lot of young kids, or we're gonna want to be, you know, sort of lice is an issue. And so we just start offering up a free shampoo when they when they start bringing these dirty little ruts in there. Right. And Russell just brought up a good point that you did have to have a certain suspension of disbelief when watching that or reading those books, because never once did a kid in Hogwarts. get lice. Yeah, that's interesting. Not once. Yep. It really took me out of it. Yeah. It's a mandible at that point. Yeah. I said, Guys, come on. This isn't really I'm on board with all the other stuff. But the lice is where I draw the line. Yeah, I mean, come on. Somebody is going to get licensed in a kid's school like that in an old building like that. All the linens are old. Come on. What kind of yeah, oh, it's inevitable, man. It's it's it's a cesspool, right. No, I mean, think about it. Dude. They're all they all share that same hat. Oh, that's right. It's it's a decision at the beginning. What they all share the same hat and this it's 2021. Man, I want that thing rubbed down. Every time a kid gets up there. You're doing a candy wipe. Sanitize that hat. They're thrown it on those dirty kids from Raven cloth. Oh, god, they're dirty. You know, Raven claw those little boxcar kids. Yeah. No, nobody in Raven clock. None of them have parents. And we just discussed their backstory. Isn't it interesting that the decision hat that puts you in the different groups is kind of profiling financially profiling kids. Yeah, it's problematic, man. Yeah. All right, Russell. So a pig and a canine are playing in a field of snow. One as the other if they would like to take a small ball of snow and roll it down the hill to make a bigger ball of snow. First question is Do you know what that big ball of snow is called? Do I know I don't. Did you want me to come up with a name for it? You actually taught me what it was because I happen to watch the Russell Hicks Christmas show and you declare that that was hugging my dog. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, Scottish word for what is it ball of snow, rolling a smaller ball of snow down the hill and becomes a bigger ball of snow. So my question is, I'll do anything for the money. Okay. I, I mean, you're you're studying. I don't remember any of that. Then you sold out to the whole hog and dog movement. Let me tell you something. All right. I've said a lot of things and a lot of places. So what is your favorite British slang term? You know, I'm actively trying To remove them from my lexicon daily, because I've been over here so long, and it just comes out of your mouth at random times like you. I've been over here so long. I mean, you'll call your penis a Willie. Hmm. Which is just nobody. I mean, that guy went to Raven Clay was Raven. Willie guy. Can I ask the follow up then? So my question, I'm going to change my question. I'm going to Audible on the question audibly. And, in a different episode of the podcast. We had a guest who used the phrase, Charlie, big potato. Oh, yeah. Okay. I actually liked that one. Yeah. Okay. So in what context? Would you use the phrase, Charlie? Big potato? Yeah, well, Charlie, big potato. That means like, when you you know, you think you're, you know, you're a big shot. Oh, you, Mr. Charlie, big potatoes. You know, this phrase comes from I don't know, this is way back. I assume it's got its origins in Ireland or something. Right? I would assume? I don't know. But it feels like that could be correct. You know, and I'm saying and everybody's walking around, you know, and this was probably I'd say, Gosh, I don't know 10 years ago, when potatoes were a valued currency. And and you know, if you were walking down the street, and you had a big old sack, big old potatoes, your Charlie, big potatoes. Amira. All right. If you as a 20 to 30 year old were offered the chance to live rent free in a retirement home or nursing home, with the caveat that you have to spend at least four hours a day with the other residents like hanging out playing bridge playing mahjong. Would you take that opportunity? Why or why not? Oh, absolutely. I have had to visit one of my grandparents in an old folks home. And you know, and it's it's fantastic. I mean, listen, when they reach a certain age, man, they just have no filter, right? It's some of the best company I've ever kept in my life. I mean, they'll tell you what they think about the person sitting right next to him. It's fantastic. You'd love to walk out of there, right? You're living rent, free your meals for free, and you're hanging out with some pretty racy character. I'm hanging out. I'm the strongest guy in the room. I'm picking Charlie, big potatoes. Charlie made potato. All right, we are gonna be back with more of the podcast and our guest this evening. Russell Hicks right after this. When I recorded my album, yeah, I had. Oh, that's lovely. And I thought it's impossible that I'm being heckled because it's really friends and family that are coming up. Oh, and you're recording URL, right? My heckler was my spouse. And wasn't directly talking to me was just table talking. Oh, loudly. Wow. That's very interesting, because that must be one of the first acts in which the subject of the act is also the heckler because you do talk about your spouse a lot in your Oh, no, she was talking through jokes that even worried about her. Can we hear her on the album? I can. I don't know that you can. I can only pay you can hear it's why there was like a four year delay between recording the album Okay, actually publishing the album, because every time I listened to it, all I could hear was her running her mouth. So just for our listeners that want to go back and kind of crawl over with it. It's one potato. It's not just one potato. It's one potato. It's two potato. It's three potato. It was all three potatoes, all three potatoes, where she's talking over you talking through all three potatoes. Oh, I didn't. I recorded all the albums at the same time. I didn't realize that. Yeah, so I recorded all the albums in one evening broke them up into the potatoes. And that's funny. I've always thought I was listening to an evolution of your career. And it's one night over. Why would you not have started calling yourself Charlie big potato after those. Charlie baked potatoes. I didn't find out. Until first of all, you can't sell potato chips. It's like you're a nickname. Yeah. Alright, we are back with the follow up round here of the podcast. Jamie Bendel Jamie Hearn and Adam Haig, our guest comedian Russell Hicks joining us from where are you actually, I'm assuming in London. I'm just outside of London. I just moved out just about 30 minutes. I'm in Rochester, England, Rochester England. Alright. Alright, so we're gonna have a little follow up on some of our answers from round number one who would like to begin? I've got one. It's not a follow up to any question we asked. But I'm just going to ask it but that kind of defeats the purpose. Okay, I have seen on your content that you've put up the cheer you're not a football fan, right? No, no, not not. No. Is there a British sport of some sort that you do enjoy? Is that we're talking football like as the football Oh, so not American football right now. We're talking soccer okay, you don't like the soccer I don't like it I I mean I don't hate it I watched they were in like this final recently and and I did get a little swept up in that toward the end and I kind of I kind of got it for a second why they all run around shirtless afterward, punching each other. It just does something to you. It's like it got me man. Did you ever find yourself saying it's coming home? Yeah. I did. I did find myself saying that but overall, Americans, I don't think we'll ever get soccer because it can end in a tie. Which first? I mean, I don't need to tell you guys that's communism. Yeah, that's horrible. But I just still don't get that. Wait, what was the question? Do I? What is there any British sports or, or that you do like hobby or anything that you enjoy? Whenever I get the chance, I like to sit down and watch people play cricket, and try to figure out with no guidance whatsoever, what the fuck is actually going on? That's amazing. I could I would love to do that exact same thing. Every time. I watch cricket, it is painful. You know, because in this country, a cricket game will break out, you know, occasionally, like, I've been doing gigs. I'm staying somewhere and I go, I look outside. Oh, there's a cricket match going on. And I sit there and I just, I've never had anyone explained it to me and I, I can't I still can't figure it out. All I know is that they wear slacks and sweaters. Oh, and play sports. I wonder if baseball would be that same weird thing to someone who's never expected? No, because it's very easy to follow. Something happened. Three, and then at some point, you're like, oh, there were Yeah. Oh, that's how cricket or very challenging, right? I baseball know you can figure it out. Do you have any additional follow up that you'd like to have? I have one question. That's not necessarily a follow up. Just like Jamie, do you have any method that you can protect a lemon tree from all those lemons stealing horse? Are you talking to me? Yeah. Is there any question? Is there any method to keep your level? Before you ask that question from all those lemon stealing? Or hold on? Russell? Before you answer that, I just want to point out you can never, ever, ever trash one of my questions. Again. I think that's actually a wonderful question. Yeah, it is a great question. I just want to say that you have now whatever level I'm on. You were on my level. No, it is no dumb question. No, that was amazing. Go ahead. So if you have a lemon tree, is there a way to protect the lemons from lemons stealing horse? Well, I think you know the answer to that. Yeah. Americans now. I think if you guys know my career well enough. I've spoken in great detail about lemons stealing horse. Yes. And I will refer both of you all three of you. To my Amazon special lemon stealing horse. I actually, I found the TED talk that you did on it was fast. I did I did a TED talk. I did a symposium on these lemons stealing horn. So we're just gonna refer to those rather than answers for you know, send our audience a little bit let's down the rabbit hole because it's a rabbit hole. My crowd knows my audience is tired of me talking about LeMans stealing horse they, to be honest, it was it was almost the end of me. I couldn't stop. There was a there was a period of my career where people had to sit me down and said, Listen, Russ, we get it. Well, it's a lemon dealing horse and you go down a rabbit hole with it. And the deeper you get into it, the more you're like, that doesn't work. That doesn't work. Well that actually it's Oh, come now that you mentioned it. The answer is a rabbit hole, a literal rabbit hole. And then you just sort of guide the lemons stealing horse down there. So not a figurative rabbit hole. Now, this is a this is a literal rabbit hole. You dig a little hole because I don't need to tell you lemons stealing horse. They're miniature. There are minuscule people. They just sort of guide them down there. You throw a lemon, you roll it down. They'll go scurry and after it, you know because they can't help themselves their horse. Yes, they're, as we've said, and then and then once they're down there, it's six birthday baby, you get again. Oh snap, you know, and you just fill that sucker up and then towards the whole thing. As I stand over that flaming hole take that you lemon ceiling. Burn you wish that's the cinematic version of that really, really good. I think it's all in my screenplay did alright, that's gonna do it for middle segment here with comedian Russell Hicks. We'll be back with more of the podcast and our guests right after this. Alright, so if you guys were in the Little League World Series, yeah. And you were showing up on TV when they do those things at the bottom and a fun trivia trivia what would be your fun trivia fact? My fun trivia fact would be Adam participates in a podcast called a podcast with a bunch of fools. It literally would be like seeing the future. Oh, wait, I thought I was an adult participating in a little league game. How awesome. Would it be if you could go back as an adult if there was one? Talk about like walking the planet right now? Yeah, no. I'm saying if you could, if it was possible, yeah. And you had one opportunity. Oh, yeah. To go back and compete. Yo, yeah. current age, current body. Current body basketball. Okay. Just to swap these little runs all day. Dude, only one time but you're like this is a free pass. I know. It's a weird thing. We're gonna let you play 10 year basketball. Yeah, you'd be like I am 100% doing 10 year. Titan, what would you go back and play current you what age group and sport? I never played baseball growing up. So I think I would play baseball because I would at least be able to be hopefully the best player on the team. It would actually be a little bit crushing though. If I want to learn Yeah, I know like and they just you with because this kid just says gas right? The bench coach. Alright, so I think that that's part of the analysis, right? So basketball would be fun. Yes. But the problem is, is you can miss a basketball show. Oh, yeah. So if it's a 10 foot hoop you still can't dunk? I don't think Adam cares about scoring. I think he just literally wants to destroy little children set picks. shots to pick this little kid. Okay, Lane little Johnny 75 pounder to me. Boom. We are back for a second lightning round here on the podcast. Guest this episode. Comedian Russell Hicks. Joining us from England. We appreciate you taking the time here. It's a little bit earlier recording time for us. I don't know how many interviews you're typically doing at this time of night for you. But we appreciate you being here. Second verse, much like the first do you choose clockwise or counterclockwise for this round? Clockwise? All right, clockwise starting with Jamie. So on the forementioned Russell Hicks Christmas show that you remembered so fondly you learned that rumbled night was a British term for Christmas Eve. However, on first glance, you suggested it was when you would get the whole family together and systematically weed out the weak in your family who would not survive your version of rumble night? Me? Oh, yeah. I think in my version of rumble night, I think I'm getting taken out pretty early. My brother, my brothers. My brother's got some strength on him. You know, and my dad. I mean, he's a God fearing man. But I think when push comes to shove, you'd be surprised if it's rumble night. It's rumble. I mean, it's a gig. Keep in mind, it's it's rumble night. Okay. You know what I mean? 364 days of the year they've been building up to this when you invite your mother to your shows yet to remind her it is not rumble night. I have to say Look, Mom, this is different rules. Okay, we're in the real world now. All right. And I grab her I grab her and I and I do it in front of the crowd. Is that lining up outside and I say this isn't rumble night you understand me? You saw what? I did the lemons stealing horse. You want that to happen to you mom? cuz I'll build a rabbit hole right now. Russell are you gonna do that? Are lemons stealing horse in front of your mother? Well, I mean, you gotta you got to intimidate her for rumble might. Yeah, man. What are you gonna do? I mean, I'm trying to keep the peace here. Yeah, that's the only thing shall listen to. For a second there. I thought you were gonna say Russell. Are you gonna do that? Bit on stage? I really thought you were gonna be like, Hey, man. Are you gonna explore this lemon stealing horse? Good stuff. Alright, Adam, so anyway, guys, there's these lemon trees, right? Whores that just won't get off them. Do you have any superstitions? I think I do. Man. I think I don't step on. Oh, I knock on wood a lot. You know what's stupid is I never knock on the wood. I say knock on wood. And then I knock on something that isn't wood and I'm really trying to stop doing it. If you're in a car is the dashboard acceptable wood if you have to knock on wood, do you not Yeah, I go like this. I go and I hate when I do it every time I go knock on wood or or whatever that is. And then anyway, after I do that, I go you know what I say to myself, I go you know what, you deserve all the bad luck that's coming to you. My question then, I'm gonna I'm gonna piggyback off me piggyback off, enjoy. McCarran, you this whole show might as well continue now superstitions personal to the person who is superstitious. Hmm. What do you mean? Yeah, I mean, if his superstition is saying knock on wood, yeah. Or whatever this is, does that work? Because it's personal to him. Right? It's your superstition. It only has to work for you. I don't I don't wear my lucky socks because I don't perceive socks as being lucky. But for some other person who says oh, I have to wear my lucky socks. And do they? So a superstition that is not yours will never work? Not it will. So you're saying that? I'm like, I'm not a superstitious person. But as long as but I have Adam superstitions. This is kind of a tree in the woods. Yeah, yeah. So I'm as I see what you're saying. Yeah, you're saying Does it work for me if I believe it works. Right. Right. Or would it work regardless if superstitions only worked for the person who believes it? Or is it if it's to get one option? Indeed, I both hate and love this question. If you believe it's working, then I suppose it did. But it also didn't. You just believe it. Thank you. Good night. Wow, excellent. Night you guys want to take a break or You guys need to adjust the microphones a second because it's true. Your mom would say he's fairly right. Yeah, true. She'd go I taught him that. Alright, most underrated spice olds. That's not even a joke as I say it. They don't have Old Spice over here. Oh, what are you just not recognizing it because it's spelled O L D. As I just said it. I thought they might have Old Spice over here, but I've not come across it. In my particular any shops. I don't think they have it over here. And boy, that stuff kept me dry. The whole time. I was in America. I mean, that's good stuff is good stuff. All right, Adam. All right. If you have a superpower, any superpower what would it be? Ah, God, what would it be man? Um, I would be. I think I would. What are we looking at here? I mean, we're talking about invisibility. Well, I'll tell you what, it's it's between invisibility and speed. Okay. It's got to be invisibility, man. Yeah, I think that makes sense. It has to be so you get invisibility what's the first thing you do with it? abuse it. Relax. Really? Want to know? Yeah. Hey, guys, are you ready to start your cancellation podcast? Russell Yeah, in whose head? Do you live? rent free? Oh, man. Do I live rent free? Gosh. Kinda like to know what Jamie's thinking right now. You know, he's the more wholesome of the trio. Interesting. I'd like to be in Jeff Bezos, his head just to just to see. You know, what the man is thinking right now? Like, Is he is he just is does he just go? Yeah, did it? Yeah. I just want to know what he's got planned for us? Because I'm not sure. I don't know. The richest man in the world is clearly planning an escape. It's usually the supervillain in any Bond movie. He does. Look, he did get progressively more Lex Luthor totally as time went on. Yeah, who I could have been able to defeat if I didn't choose fucking visibility. Yeah, but you can spy on him really? Really? Well. Yeah. What am I gonna do? Yeah, I'm gonna go find out its plans. Then I'm going to tell someone else inferior. Jamie's up. Alright, so I have a friend who just yesterday had to put his dog to sleep after 17 wonderful years with him as his best. Yeah, I'm serious. And obviously he's struggling. Okay. During a recent show of yours, you had an upbeat audience member named Devon that you thought should create an app containing his positive affirmations called divans corner if the app divans corner actually existed? What would Devon say to my friend about dealing with his dog's death? I can't believe this guy Devon is being immortalized even further. This random guy at a show who just kept could not stop saying positive affirmations. I mean, honestly, this guy is gonna have a better career than me. There's gonna be given merchandise the Devon app is going to be made Yeah. Oh, by the way, going back who's had where I live in rent free? Yeah, sorry. Givens. Pretty nice. Oh my god, there's a hot tub. And it's like, it's just glorious. It's a hot tub made of chamomile tea. Nice. It's just an atrium. It's beautiful. Devon would say something like he lived a long life for a dog. Yeah. 17 years. So this is a good thing is like divans corner. I made it my friend so the dog didn't actually die. Oh, good. I was gonna say I mean 17 years is like immortal. That's a really old dog. It is a long Yeah. It's gonna be a small dog. But actually so do you feel better about the fact that the dog didn't die? I do. But what about the fact that the dog was never born so the dog actually never existed? Which is worse. Okay, Adam, okay. Wow. Whoa. It's heavy. This is the maybe my uncultured self but our Idaho Russet potatoes as big in the UK as they are in the United States. I believe we do not have Idaho Russet potatoes. So what is your potato menu in the UK? Like what are you looking at like the varieties of potatoes the potato menu like what when you go to the produce section and you look at very specific restaurants in Atlanta well I'm just we do which is really odd sir. Excuse me, sir. Sir, can I see the potato menu place produce section at the local market? What potatoes you're looking at? What are the potatoes like? What is your question? Are they as big? No, it's more just we have rusted we have red we have finger let me tell you what America has. They have genetically modified? Yes. You know, and God bless the USA you're asking does Britain have bigger potatoes with their inferior natural soil and their sunshine they use to grow them? Absolutely not. They got nothing. They got none of their friggin human growth hormone that we are stuffing in our spuds baby. Right, but they're big. They're American. They are big American and I defy you not to feel freedom. Yeah, that's right, dude. I feel like that could be an advert for a commercial for those spuds dash rack. Big potatoes. Yeah, potatoes are big and unnatural not like the UK softies Hey, our potatoes don't have a single natural ingredient in them and you ain't go and give a shit. Not one but a big hail. Vegas hail potatoes. Consult your local menu. You got a potato? Yeah, the commercial opens the guy is in a canoe a potato canoe? We don't use potatoes floatation device. Remind me not to go produce shopping with that. Oh, it's fun. It's fun. Dude, I could have done 20 more minutes on those potatoes. So it's good. It's good that we're winding that part now. i That guy could have talked about those potatoes for me for an hour he said there's other commercials where like someone's just eating a little potato he just slaps that potato Are you from the UK? What are you British? book you fuck your data. Potato is inferior take your healthcare system and you shove it real care and we get the big ass potatoes. That's right the money we don't spend on healthcare we use making these potatoes biggest fuck oh, we could have had a health care system but we said hey, why don't we make these potatoes a little bit bigger? You guys want to cure cancer? Fucking let's make the data's let me ask you a question. Okay, look me in the eye. What you want you want to cure cancer? Or do you want a big ass bowl of mashed potatoes? You know I love big ass french fry. Let's we make big sacrifices. My turkey. Oh man finally done. Hey, what if you had a big old book and potato? I'm sorry. Don't leave us hanging. What are you doing? I had a dog for 17 years and he just died. Why? Because he couldn't handle his book and Tater. So I say good riddance to the little bastard put the bastard down. So to answer your question, no. No, no, not actually. The great thing about that series of potato jokes is that I do the editing. And I'm just gonna be able to skip right over that like that. That's that's your goal. Let me tell you something. No editing there. Let me tell you something that goes out and its original Director's Cut is I will not sanction the release. I hit the beginning of that. I'm just gonna skip to the end and and it's It's all new. Yeah, there's nothing I need to change. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you need the full context. There's no point you could have dropped into that that it would have made any sense. No, you're gonna need to cool. Alright, my lightning round question. Smallest vegetable you would feel comfortable eating? I think I've made myself pretty clear. And you didn't say that. Alright, our guest this episode has been comedian Russell Hicks, Russell. If people are looking to consume more of your potato related content, where can they find it? If you want to go on Tik Tok? I'm Russell Hicks comedy. So at wrestle X comedy. And then there's also Instagram which is just at Russell Hicks with two s's on the end. Honestly, man, tick tock has been probably the best for me as of late as far as putting up clips. So good. Check that out. And then, you know, go down to go down the metaphorical rabbit hole after that. Well, we appreciate your time this evening. Continued success. Hopefully we'll see you here. If you make your way to Atlanta, come visit us and I will do man. This was fun, you guys. Alright. Thanks, guys did later. Fighters getting low. This episode of the podcast is over domna gold now. Your back door you will call you back. It's time for another podcast.