Comedy Roundtable

Eddie Ifft

April 06, 2021 Eddie Ifft Season 1 Episode 9
Comedy Roundtable
Eddie Ifft
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Show Notes Transcript

NOTE: At the time this episode was recorded, Comedy Roundtable was known as the BHHcast (pronounced "Bah"-cast), which is why you will hear references to the BHHcast, our listeners who we referred to as the Sheep, and our hosts who were referred to as the Shepherds. Enjoy a little bit of Comedy Roundtable history with this episode.

Comedy Roundtable welcomes comedian Eddie Ifft to the show. Just don't tell the New Jersey State Police.  What is the largest animal Eddie Ifft would share an inflatable raft with in the middle of a bay while sounding an air horn at 3:00 in the morning? Once again, Comedy Roundtable is not afraid to ask the tough questions.

Eddie Ifft (www.eddieifft.com) has been seen on Comedy Central, the Joe Rogan Experience, Last Comic Standing, Chelsea Lately, Getting Doug with High, Showtime, FX's Legit and his new album Sweet Home Malibama is available now.  Also, check out his Wodcast Podcast. 

In this episode, the guys start with a discussion of Bendall's two dogs - Good Dog and Bad Dog.  The other Jamie is starting a #FreeBadDog campaign.  

In our interview, Eddie describes how one man's party foul is another man's (or the same man's) eight outstanding warrants.  We were waiting to see how long it would take for someone to bring up the rat guy. Now we know.  And, Eddie makes it clear that Comedy Roundtable needs to find a niche, and the three guys chatting with a guest idea might not be original. 

Be sure to like the podcast and subscribe to get the latest episodes as soon as they are dropped.   

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People around here trust the shepherds, Jamie. Adam in the other Jamie. They always have the sheep trust them to gather around. I'll throw another log on the fire. Turn it up just a touch goes another episode of the podcast is starting now. She brand new episodes starts now. It is the BA cast Jamie bendele Jamie Hernan and Anne dome. Welcome back sheep. We're gonna have a fun one today. Today's episode gets a little squirrely to use an animal analogy. I feel like we got a little fixated on non human creatures. We did. We did. I'm not gonna lie. Yes, this episode is Edie if you're going to hear about his party exploits. That ran afoul of the law in his days as a lifeguard on the Jersey Shore. Yeah. So do you ever think about cuddling with animals? I mean, other than like domesticated animals, I'm saying when you contemplate animals, do you think that's an animal I'd like to cuddle with? Yes, indeed. Really? Yeah. Like a koala bear. Maybe maybe a panda. I will actually cuddle with an animal or to like my dog. I like to I like to hang out with the dog. He jumps up and takes a nap on the couch every once in a while. There are times when the dog kind of wants to snuggle in. Yeah, and I think this is an animal. Oh, and I'm just saying good dog are the bad dog. The Bad dog is desperate for attention. Yeah, definitely wants to be a bad pet me hug me Hold me. Yeah, the lack of that might be contributing to bad dog. I 100% withhold affection from the bad dog. Yeah, that's why he's bad. But the you're saying that you'd like to keep the rank clear between human and beast in your home? No. Sometimes I just catch myself. And I'm like, Ah, that's my buddy. It's the dog that I like. Oh, you know? It is soothing. Like it's nice. Yeah. And they're like, Yeah, but this is an actual animal. Oh, I don't like to think I'm remembering that. Like, this is just an animal. Yeah, I don't like to go there. I consider Yeah, my dogs I'm definitely don't think of as animals anymore. They've somehow become an elevated Did you even name your dog's Good dog? Bad dog. Yeah. Good dog. Bad dog. Oh, yeah. My bad. Yeah. Which is so fulfilling. Where he withholds attention for bad dog. Yeah, and calls him back out. You know what the bad dog in our house knows the answer to what who's a good girl? Because it's the other dog. I don't ask that question to him. rhetorically. I asked specifically. Who's not you? That dog over there. That's a good girl. I wonder why you say who's a bad boy? You are. You must love you. He broke the collar again. Which I'm happy about because we're on the cusp of going out of town for spring break. So I'm happy to the collar broke. Yeah, so I could replace the collar for the people who are gonna walk out the door for anyway. Yeah, cuz that's just uh, was it broken on a walk? No. He breaks them in the backyard. The other the good dog. He takes that dog on walks. Oh, yeah. And he go on false walks with the bad dog. Oh, yeah, it's true. Oh, if I could get that dog on a treadmill. He's so dumb. He could probably go for it. He'd be like, this is the greatest. This is a dream. I can only have a peloton screen in front of me. That looks like good dog gets full full walk. Yeah, I've seen you in good dog walks. It's not just a regular dog walk. It's a it's basically a pilgrimage. Around Bad dog. out the driveway. About 50 yards down the street. Oh. The funny thing is, is that it gets worse. It's a fake walk. And he makes bad dog watch. Good dog getting a walk on surveillance video. You don't do that. No, no, no, that's fine. That's the step two but I will say Good dog has a jingle bell on our chain. And so bad dog can totally hear. But you know sigh leave we go out into the garage. Yeah, so get the collar on and whatever and it's a jingle bell so he's inside and here's the jingle jingle knows what's going on. Off we walk can hear the jingle disappear into the distance and then here's the jingle coming back. Bad does thinking. I was so short. I'm surprised now can't hear the jingle from No. Bad dog is like, outside is so short. And then he's totally fine. Okay, yeah, there we go. That's what a bad dog he is, is the ASPCA or PETA gonna protest us first? Yeah, nobody should protest us. He has a fenced backyard. He's allowed to go out in and he's you know, it's bad. And yeah, me is a good dog on right. Yeah, I just don't like him. But he's a good dog owner. Not a bad dog owner. He's Horrible. Totally disowned bad is a good good dog. Bad dog. I'm actually a good that dog owner because I still have bad dog in my house if I was a bad bad dog owner, Bad dog wouldn't be here anymore Bad dog would be off with. With some other family. There are no bad dogs. Only bad but you understand this bad dog went with another family Bad dog might become good dog. He could be but he's out of my life. I have no idea. I mean, that would be like saying I had somebody that was a crazy ex girlfriend and they turned out to be somebody else's amazing wife. collars. How's he what's going on with the car? I have no idea. He's on a chain in the backyard. So he goes out and he's What? Yeah, so good dog gets to go out, roam free. Okay, Bad dog because he digs out of the yard. Kind of like a burrowing animal. I can no longer trust him. Trust Him to be free in the yard. No, this is kind of like that under the fence. This is kind of like in a in a hearing or a trial, where the witness just keeps talking and keeps burying themselves on all these lists of questions. But I'm not gonna ask anyone just keep keep talking. Yeah, cuz the sheep are starting to like us a lot better at them. Okay, well, I'm gonna tell you that sheep are getting concerned about bad dog. So yeah, so bad dog. I have a five foot fence that goes around the bad dog. Who is a 60 pound with it mix of some kind. Once you pick five feet on the fence. It was there. When we bought the house. It seems a little too low. I would have preferred six foot but it's a five footer. Okay. Okay. Anyway, and you never thought maybe I should replace it? Well, it's shares. So my neighbor has a five footer on their yard and the neighbor next to me has a five. Five footer. Okay. Bad dog. If you came up to the opposite side of the fence, Bad dog could jump up. Get his nose in front paws over five foot fence. Wow. So he has hops. Okay, good. Total hops. Yeah, but he's an escape artist. So he's on a rope. He's on a 30 foot. You know, chain rope thing I'm worried about I can't get I can't get the dogs stop digging out that he's trying to escape you. He's, it's not me. No, no, it is you. It could be Yeah. No, not me. No, he's, he loves you. Yeah, he does. Because he's a dog. But if we were to ask that dog for the meat in three, and we'll just skip to the three. What are the three attributes Bad dog would say about you? abrupt? abrupt, dismissive, he's dismissive. quick to anger. She's quick. And what is bad dogs eat me. I am the meat of that dog's life. I am 100%. The leader of that dog's back. Yeah. What are the girls think about bad dog. Everybody lined up Love Bad dog. He has some advocates in the house. Good. Good. But he doesn't have. He doesn't have he doesn't have unanimity in his advocacy. And he has way too many years left in his life for us to not have to come up with some solution other than the way things are now. I mean, he's a young dog. Yeah, for so you know, why do you stop him from escaping? He's trying to lead a better life. Oh, no, he's not. He loves Jamie. He could be trying to lead a better life. He just he doesn't know what he wants. That's his problem. He doesn't know what he wants. He's, he's he's like Instagram meme waiting to happen. Right? He He, He is the canine embodiment of the grass is greener, so he doesn't know what he wants it and that's comes from the comedian, Attorney used car dealer podcast that got that guy. Oh, I know. 100% what I want possible. Yeah, I'm very clear on what I want. Okay. You seem to have a lot of different paths. And I'm not trying to escape. Okay, so where are you? Man? Yeah. So why don't you try a 30 day trial period of taking Bad dog on actual walks, cuddling with bad dog treating Bad dog like good dog. And let's see what happens to bad dog. What if he becomes Good dog? How would they know the names of the dogs? Good dog one good dog two. Oh, no, you've confused the whole system in the house. This. So here's where your theory is flawed. That time period that you described existed for this dog as a puppy. He elected the bad he chose. He chose the bad dog life. How did he choose that? He just he was bad dog. Nobody. When he had six dogs that have lived in this house. He's the first one that's dug out all the time. Bigger. Right? He's so I mean, it's him. It's not me. Okay. All right. And if I was breaking up with him, I would tell him that I'd be like Look, he is you know me. I am a girl You know why? Cuz Look at this. Amazing other dogs that you live with? Good dog. This dog figured out how to get with the program. Yes, just get with the program. And there's always the theory like, oh, they're there, you know, they'll grow and they'll grow out of it. No, no, not grown out of it don't grow out of it. I will say on our many walks to bad dogs credit, which makes us here we go right through credit Here comes which makes his bad behavior that much worse. Oh, we're so close. He shows he can be good. So we we go on our fake walk. Yep. And anytime he puts tension on the leash. I stop walking. Yep. Good training. And he then sets. Oh, nice, good for him. And then we walk and then and he starts pulling and you he'll sit right? Oh, that's a great response. That's what you want. Okay. But have you ever seen that movie momento where the person has to write things all over their body to remember their clues because they have no short term memory? Yeah. Moving in reverse. Yeah, that's, that's bad dogs problem. So the next night we go out, he doesn't remember. Don't pull on the leash. But he learns it every or maybe he pulls in the leash because he just wants to have those moments where you stand there and he sits and you guys know that. I want to go were good dogs. He doesn't know we're good tacos. Yeah. Can you talk a long way? Yeah, they talk good dog keeps my secrets. Cuz he's a good dog. She knows. She knows she hasn't she doesn't. secret's safe with pets out of fear secret's safe with me that that's what she says. No, it she's afraid that she's going to treat like bad dog. Oh, she for sure sees what happens to bad dog. Oh, that dog does not. It is you know we leave the house bad dogs got to go in the crate. Yep. Good dog. roams the halls. Hats off counters. I need some. Oh, poor guy. He's eaten like three mouse's at the computer down on the kitchen, PC or Mac Mac's? Okay, well, those are expensive mouse's eats. That's not good. mice. mouse's I'd say mouse's not mice. Yeah, even pluraleyes are you going crazy with the whole mice thing? Yeah. It's mouse's. Alright, anyway. Good episode. It's a gander. Have a gander or a gaggle a gander of mice, mice to Gander of mice. Enjoy you bring in a guest so when we get back it's gonna be Nef. Eddie is going to take us on a we've been there but you're about to go is an adventure. You don't know the number of a lawyer you might want to get one because you might catch a case by the time this episode. Watch out for the party. podcast. We'll be back. We're spending a lot of money on Ben ball. He put in a request to get a hot air balloon ride to the show. Are you serious? Yeah. You approved it by the way. Well, I thought we were joking about that. I literally thought we were joking, but we can't we can't joke about stuff like that anymore. No. And he had to come just so that, you know, one would go in a different direction. And yeah, yeah, he's very, he's so weird about that. Yeah. So this is the ad for the Jimmy Bendel fund. We're not able to afford a hot air balloon if no don't contribute money now we're gonna lose him. He may actually have to come by ground transportation. Yeah, I shudder to think. Anyhow, please, please give give what you can maybe just for the cost of a cup of coffee every day. We can afford to give Jamie his blue for just $35 a month you can support a podcast host who needs you? JAMIE needs you. And we'll need you. We need you. Will you answer the call? Welcome back to the podcast. Jamie bendele. Jamie, Hernan Adam. Hey. Joined by our guest this episode Mr. Eddie ifft. We are excited to have you on the show. Welcome in Eddie. Oh, thanks for having me guys. I have a feeling this is gonna be the best show ever. Alright. Guest a question we ask all the time is the following a meat and three restaurant is where you get a meat as an entree. You get three side dishes the way we ask it in the context of our show is in your life. Edie? What is the meat what is the organizing principle around which all things revolve. I take this not be funny, but I would say my family. Okay. Now the sides the three. What are the attributes that you would like people to most closely associate with you my ability to hide my girlfriend from my family? Good one. Good one, my my ability to embezzle money so that my wife doesn't know for the divorce. And my, like sneakiness that I can hide all the data. So sneaky, they're all in the same thing, which I like. Did your sides are all in the same category? No, let's, let's let me get to that on it. So what was the question? The question was, what's the meat? I said the family. And then the next question was, what are the qualities that what? Besides the three attributes that you would like people to most closely associate with you? You know what? To be honest, I really don't care what people think. But, but I guess I do. I guess I try to try to be good person, I try to be loyal. And a good friend. And I don't know what the third would be, I guess. It's all stuff. I wish that people think of me but I don't say do I guess the other would be selfless, which I know I'm incredibly selfish. So what you're working on, I should work. Alright, so we do a rapid fire round where we do in depth deep questions, short answers. You're, as the guest you get the choice of clockwise or counter clockwise. And this is a very important answer. Okay. So you're going to go clockwise, counter clockwise for the win. Go, I'll go I'll go clockwise. Alright, clockwise starting. All right, what is the largest animal that you could defeat in hand to hand combat? Oh, armadillo. Okay. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Too hot. What wastes the most time in your day to day life? podcasting? What is the largest animal with which you would cuddle? kangaroo? If you could only change one event in history, what would you choose? COVID how handy are you when it comes to fixing things? I'd say Space Shuttle Challenger. Oh, yeah, we're just talking about that. You're just talking. Talking challenger. Okay, good. What is the largest animal with which you would like to spend COVID right now quarantine lotta animal lot animal. Reality podcast is? Yes. What is your favorite holiday decoration? favorite holiday decoration would be Oh, the what's the Thanksgiving? That horn of plenty thing the scopia according to copia Yeah, that by far. Oh, lovely. Jamie, question, what weird quirks did you pick up from your parents? I'm very weirdly organized like my dad in a lot of ways. But from my mother, I'd say, you know, for being a comic I tell to long stories. And I got that from my mom. I don't know if that's a weird Quirk. Pretty good. Pretty good. What's the largest animal that you would trust? Honestly, enough with the animal thing? Yeah. I get a bonus. He trusts the human animal to do as I started to get into that question, the question, what's the largest? I'm starting? I'm starting a side podcast. Yeah. called. It should be the largest animal right? Shouldn't be great. So are you interested? Do your taxes you want to take the show in a really weird direction? I don't know why I do this on every podcast. I did it on Joe Rogan's podcast. There was a BC reality farm in the state of Washington, where a guy got arrested for running a BC reality farm. That guy graduated a year ahead of me in high school. Whoa, interesting. Congratulations. Thank you for taking out to just that fun fact. Interesting, because I got really nervous there. But I think it does beg the question was the high school you went to an animal mascot or a human mascot? It was a fox. There you go. And we're done. That's enough. The shrinks have left the building. Oh, by the way, this is the bar cast. So it's Bendel Hernan Haig. So it sounds like you know, she Ba ba ba cast? All right. It sounds like a law firm. Yeah, well, when we say the full name, yes, the bow firm. Data data. Are you heard down? Have you taken any drugs or class actions? We are interested in you and you and you? Are you all lawyers are all comedian or both? Yeah, we're all definitely lawyers. Yeah. The comedian. In part, we're leaving the bendall. Pretty darn funny. Yeah. And not really some practice overlap. The Japanese have more practice overlap. Yeah, I do corporate, they do real lawyer stuff I read and write all the time. I don't I'll never understand what any of you lawyers do. I really don't I wish I was collected money. You know, I haven't ever really knew, I guess, when I do my contracts, the only time that's ever really used the lawyer in my life, and then you get 5%. So that's pretty good chunk. So we need to talk about that, because I actually was in the same boat. But these two was because they're real lawyers, right. And they go to court, and they have like, prosecutors that they know and like, you know, judges that they know, I got a pretty good speeding ticket. And for the cost of an apple pie from cashiers farmer's market in North Carolina. I got, you know, a dramatically reduced sentence. Thank you. He's actually underselling the value of my services, though, because this is a really damn good pie. No, it's a great, great pie. Well, they set this thing out here called ticket clinic, where you just you just email them your ticket, you're actually protected email, I don't know what you do. You take a picture of it, you send it to them and give them 200 bucks and that ticket got boom. Nice. So I'm wondering how many customers have that ticket clinic plays have outstanding warrants that they don't know about? tickets? to worry about that again. We can just stop right now. Shut it down. That's the biggest joke he's gotten in season four. So you know, it's really funny, a buddy of mine that recommended it to me, actually told me a story about he didn't he got pulled over one time. And he said to his girlfriend, they're very, very, very famous actress. He goes, Hey, I got a warrant for my arrest. So put things with me. If you like what he's like, pristine with me right now. He's like, you get the ticket. And and I think that's the ticket. So he gets the ticket. And then he was supposed to take care of her ticket. He didn't take care of it. And then he got pulled over once. got arrested and thrown in jail. Oh, Ouch. Ouch. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know if I should have trusted him about this ticket clinic. Maybe he's not the best guy he could chew legal advice. Not only as award but said his girlfriend up to get award also. Totally thinking maybe there's a word. I have to say. I'm stunned that if you know you have a warrant. Why you ever get behind the wheel? Yeah. Are we recording right now? No, we can stop recording and stop recording. Oh, no, no, because I don't care. I don't care. I had so many warrants. So many. I said, I take probably at one point I had a Whoa. In New Jersey. Never ever did anything about I got them all. When I used to lifeguard back in Jamie and I talked about this when I used to live in stone harbor New Jersey. And these weren't children drowning. No, only one I think it was it was more like indecent exposure, urination and or masturbation in a public place. That was public drunkenness, noise violation, General discipline, typical left, you know, just, uh, you know, I sound like a funny guy. And I never paid them because I just thought I'd never go back to New Jersey. And then I got invited to a bachelor party there. And I had to go to the bachelor party because I was best man. And so I called a state cop that I knew and I said, Hey, come into town. Could you look up to see if there's any warrant for my arrest? And he was like, holy shit. So he said, Go into the police station. As soon as you get there. I've talked to them, you're gonna pay off all of these. And I said, Okay, so I paid them off, paid all the warrants. And I thought, we're good. We're good. Everyone's good time to party. And warrants. Yeah, that's basically what happened. got arrested, got arrested that night. And when they were letting me off after a we got arrested for theft of a bicycle, which was a felony, by the way, until they reduced it to. I'm planning to do not What is it? Yeah, that's the thing. We just I'm done bikes outside of a bar that were sitting there and just rode them around the street and like a circle and like put them and the cops gave us stepped up a bicycle for that. But I mean, well, they might have chased us around town a little bit on it. But the long story short when we went in, and we did all our stuff, and they wrote us up and sort of, we're gonna have to come back for a court date, and that was leaving to fully slink us. You have a warrant for your arrest? I go, No, I don't pay them all. There's one here, there's still one here, you get a warrant for your arrest. And I said, for what he goes something about an air horn. And then he's like a noise violation, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, Oh, my God. I had gotten. I was blowing an air horn one time in a house at like three in the morning and woke up all the neighbors and errands are a lot of fun. Yeah. And I was calling all my friends that have real jobs and waking them up in the middle of the night and going, Hey, what do you do and we're partying and I blow the air on. And the cops came and they were gonna write us off and they said, Look, just stop. It said these horns are for recreational boating usage only. You can't use them in a house, blah, blah, blah, the noise disturbance. So we blew up a raft and went out into the middle of the bag. Exactly. That's exactly what we did. And I've never heard cop yell like that. They were like, get on the water. Thinking that Bendel may have a worn in New Jersey because as soon as you started talking about Yeah, yeah, very quiet. I noticed that stone harbor. I thought you'd be all over it. But no, he's like, we're not talking about this. Yeah, they're party warrants. Party war and party warrants. It doesn't have party warrants. Yeah, party officer. I do think they should have a different name for them. They shouldn't be called warrants. Those should be like party foul or something and you got to pay off your I'm sorry, sir. I'm have four party files. So you have to pay the fine or come with me. Somebody ripped your telega off. And you ran the whole way home you get about why that should not be interest. No. So quick overview of podcast history. You You're not inexperienced in the creation of audio content, right. I forget when my first podcast was but let's look at the two guys I've posted podcasts with Jim Jefferies and Bryan Callen. Right. So Brian, and I did one called wingman years ago, which hasn't held up well. And Gemini did one called talk and ship that hasn't held up well, at the time. Very funny. Now, different different culture. Okay, but so and then you did the were you were you on tour on the bus? Oh, yeah. So then I switched to the bingo show. So I started podcasting probably around 2000. No, maybe a little bit after like, 2005. Yeah, but 2005 was my first podcast did did that one, then talk and shit lasted for, I don't know, eight years or something. And then turned into the podcast, or dose turned into the bingo show? And then I also do the one I do now. It's called the WOD cast? And do you feel like, so we have the discussion all the time, right? And I'm having a candid conversation about it, we try to figure out like, Is it just the focus of Put your head down and make good content that entertains you and have real conversations with the guests? Or do you, you know, reach for a different perspective in trying to, in trying to shortcut some of the steps. I think at this point, it's definitely niche. Like, I need a niche. I don't know how to pronounce that word. I have done a podcast that had a huge audience. That never made me $1. It just like bankrupt me. Basically, it costs so much to make, and people loved it. But there was no market, like the advertisers didn't want anything to do with it. And at the time, we didn't realize how to get our fans to, you know, like, che through like Patreon or anything like that, that wasn't a model. And then I switched to this health and fitness podcast that I do that has 1/10 the listeners, but makes 10 times the money because I have lots of advertising on it. So you need to be you need to find the people that like I found a guy who kills rats. I had a rat problem in my house and mouse rat problem. I live up in the mountains couldn't get rid of this one rat at my house, so it's timely destroyed my attic. Right my attic. Found a guy on YouTube, who like lives and dies, catching rats. He had some of his YouTube videos had 60 million views. Wow. 60 million views. And this guy, he's the most awkward man in the world like this one. This one time he cut these rats by he built a ramp up to a bowl, and then put vegetable oil in the bowl. So they would go up the ramp tried to go into like drink the oil, and they would get in and they couldn't get out. And in the morning, in the end, he had a camera set up so you could watch it. In the morning he had seven rats. So he's taking them out and cleaning them with dawn dishwashing soap. And he says, I'm not going to kill these these ones I'm going to keep Whoa. He's like Willard, and but but like, here's this guy who has this niche market of these the rent guy. And yeah, and so anybody that wants to catch a rat is going to this guy. So you've got to find something like that. Yeah, it's in hearing you say that. It's I do. It is nice to have you on the last episode of the podcast. Whatever happened to that podcast that you guys are doing? Well, we had any. Like, we all went and saw our guidance counselor and be like, I don't know that I need senior year English because me and three guys were starting a band. Yeah. I mean, I, I do think that there are really, really creative ways to go to make podcasting and that what everybody's missing is, everybody goes to pitch TV shows because if you sell one, they give you a chunk of cash and it's like, great, I got this money and they're gonna do all the work. But the truth is, like, if you really liked your idea, you can do it. And you don't even have to do it video wise, you can do it audio. Like I wanted to do a VH one show I pitched the bH one years ago, where I go and meet meet up with all my like, former like childhood celebrity stars that are no longer stars. You know, like Jake from 16 candles, or like yeah, in Lehi, Pennsylvania. Yeah, things like that. Like I go and because they're nobodies now I can meet them. And I try to like to be friends with them and then try to like make a comeback with them. Like, come on, man. You're Jake. Like, you know, you were shoot in that other movie with the with that other guy and that other lady. Yeah, but anyway, that show VH one shot me down there like shot me down. But like I could go make that as a podcast now. And big with zoom, I can contact these people put them on, and then that's like, a niche that I'd go Hey, I have all these like childhood celebrities that aren't. And you know, you know, once my lawyer now, you know chunk from from The Goonies. Is that a true story? Yeah, he was he actually he worked on one thing for me. But Jeff Cohen, who was chunk in The Goonies is probably half the comedians in LA their lawyer. Oh, whoa. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, Google amazed doesn't look the same anymore. More or less. Less. lost a lot of weight. Loss a lot of hair. Huh. Interesting. But he has super nice guy. And but like, How cool is that? Like that? There he was. And here he is now. So we should be starting is a lifeguard podcast where it's like rescue stories. From tower 12 not a bad idea. Don't harbor rescue tower. 12. Every everybody's probably got us got stories. What's the name? The name of the the lifeguard podcast? Oh, I don't know. 12 hour 12 hour 12. That's awesome. So Eddie, you could do a sheep riding a surfboard as your logo. Now that we have that. Really? We would. We could license that out. We could license it to them. Yeah, she's on a surfboard. I mean, our logo is pretty sweet. Yeah, yeah. We Yeah. So Eddie, what we did was we did a logo before we recorded the first episode, right? So we weren't and we probably spent, you know, four or five months on the logo. Most important thought about the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. It's all about the branding. Of course. Yeah. Start, you know, wait to figure out if it's, if it works. No, we had those t shirts and the hats off. And then we were like, maybe we should start recording something. Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna we're gonna go with Karen's 50th birthday. But we felt like that was too on the nose. Another thought about all over disadvantaged countries that are wearing Bach St. Which is great. You know, it's thought about calling it cart before the horse. Yeah, yeah. projects that see, you know, that would be a great podcast if you talk to people that did everything wrong in the launch of their business. Right. Right. What? That actually hysterical I had a guy on my I had a guy on my podcast podcast, they usually have an expert, who is in strength, conditioning, health, nutrition, fitness, you name it, they're an expert in their field. I have them on and I interview them. This guy writes to me and goes, I think I'd be a great guest. He's like, I started a dating site. For people that work out, you know, and it's been done a million times. I'm like reading it like, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, I also have one eye, and it falls out off and well, I'm working out. And I just was like your book. Yeah. And I had him on the podcast live. And he took his eyeball out for me a couple times, it was pretty cool. And he was the biggest train wreck ever. Like, this is a guy who had everything lost. Everything continued to like, mess everything up. He started a charity Foundation, because his friend died. And then his friends family kicked him out. And everything that could go wrong, this guy and it was just great. So I think people would like to listen to like, you know, like, there's so much like, positive shit on the Internet of like, Hey, we can help you do this. We can make your life better we can. Let's make it worse. You know, like, let's, let's, let's listen to some failure. Yeah. I really like that. It's not how I succeed. It's how I failed bigger than the last guest worse than you. Yeah. And then your your listeners are like, I can do that too. I can fail. And if I if, if this business venture doesn't work out, at least I can be on the podcast. Except it's not funny. So okay, so hang on a second when the guy takes his eye out. Did you get the whole di? No, I wouldn't touch it. That's okay. That's gross. I'm coming out in the socket. Is it like smooth in the back? Is it rough? What's like, what's the inside? Oh, yeah. Not it's not like a ball that goes into the eye. It's almost like a like half an oval shaped like an egg. That's like half shaped. So it's like a giant contact lens. Is there like a Lego connector? There's not an if there was a Lego connector wouldn't keep falling out. It was it was gross. I had trouble looking at and I looked in his eye with this socket out with the eye out. Could you see a soul? No, he didn't know. But like you can see in there and it's just a lot of fleshy grossmith. And yeah, it's pretty cool, though. I was. I needed to see that. All right, daddy. So listen, where do people find you in the spirit world. my brand new album was released today called Sweet Home, Alabama. And it's available on YouTube, Spotify, iTunes, Amazon, Pandora, Napster. You can get it everywhere. So it's got sweet home, Alabama, MDF, you can find it on my Instagram at MDF that stuff in the bio, the link to it. And you can find it on YouTube. I think it'd be just, you know, search my name from SBS isfc. Hey, I do have to ask you the question in what ways is Malibu like Alabama? Well, I don't live in Malibu proper. I don't live down on the beach. I live up in the mountains. Where it is a lot. here's here's how it's like, very hard to describe like, on one side of me right up the creek limbs Will Smith. And right beside me lives a guy who operated on his own scrotum. Whoa, yeah. Yeah, I've actually listened to this album. Excellent story about Edie being taken into the woods by a former center for the Philadelphia Eagles with an axe. Oh, hell yes. That's a true story. Okay. Okay. Well, I glad you could get to us on your drop day. That was great. So I know you did lots of press today must be album drop. Yeah, yeah, it's been it's been a that's why my heads and I just can't believe how much I've done so many podcasts, so many radio shows today. And then also, all the like, texting and tweeting and instagramming I'm like, I didn't get into it for this. That's a byproduct of the beast. The machine. Yeah, the machine needs food. But at the end of the day of the podcast you did today, this is by far the best. That's what I kind of thought you were gonna say. Yeah, can we answer more animal questions though? I think we have a new member of the flock shepherds. What is the largest animal that you would trust to drive you home if you had had too much to drink at the bar? Okay, let's so that's a good question. And I'm not gonna lie to you. I would let any member of the species drag me out. Any member, any man, anyone, even spider monkey, anything? Like I'm not gonna let any other animal drugs, not a dog, not a cat. Nothing was like a bear silverback gorilla. Totally good way, even if it was trained to do it. I'm not getting in the car with any other species. But I will definitely even if he said this is the first time this chimpanzees ever driven a car. I'm getting it. I think we could do a 70 sitcom with you getting driven home from bars by a chimpanzee. Hang on a second. I'm thinking I'm thinking you put therapy dogs in Tesla's and you have like, super Uber? Yeah, yeah. Right. autonomous vehicles with therapy dog drivers, but he wants apes now but I'm saying you could do it with other animals. I think he's onto something. self driving cars. I'll get in with anything. Anything except for crocodile or alligator? Baby Alligator, I would get it. Okay. But if the animal has to drive, I'm only trusting a monkey. Like anything of the monkey fan. I think that makes sense. I think that's a smart. Okay, the final one is what's the largest animal that you would trust to have as your cellmate in prison? And if you were in prison with this large animal, would you choose top bunk or bottom bunk? It would always be pop bonds. And I would choose the largest I would choose is probably a bear. Okay. I would I would want to bear as a roommate, or cellmate because I feel like you can train the bear. But then you could also have it as protection. Right? Nobody's messing with the guy with the Baron is so yeah, nobody's coming in that. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you, Eddie. It's been it's been great having you. I actually wound up selecting a bear as a cellmate since we're talking about animals as soulmates. He's probably also I would choose probably a bird. Oh, I would choose an animal that burrows digs that digs. I would choose a digging animal to be like, Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's what you want. Did you imagine you get stuck with the beaver and he just keeps building you in? He's like, we're just gonna do another dam here. And another day No, no, no. We don't need anyway yeah. Jesus Christ through the bars. I don't know Yeah, no, just eat the bars. You don't have to bring home the one from lunch papers the one animal usually don't see in person. Hello. What kind of person Oh yeah, my guest brings his own I have one at all. Good boy. Well, thank you guys for having me. I really appreciate that. It was a good time. Good luck in the future. Keep up the questions they It was my highlight I'm not gonna lie. Alright, hopefully we'll see you here in Atlanta before too long any Sweet Home Alabama. I'm super fascinated to bring me down anytime. All right, buddy. Sounds good. Alright, that was a gift sheet. Move along time to get back to the pin. All right, you heard it here go home taka taka be here when you get back. Fires getting low. This episode of the bug cast is over. Dumb the gold now she dual back to where you came from. We'll call you back. It's time for another buck.